by yawned, stretched, and surreptitiously scratched himself. He climbed from his bed and, once more, stretched. resented sleep. Some people described sleep as a precious commodity. wasn't one of them. Those were mostly the geezers with no numbers in their names.

Not, of course, that looked down his nose at all his elders. Like all citizens of the great nation of America Online, had a healthy respect for the worthy and brilliant

As he applied his AOL brand deodorant to his underarms and admired the nation's flag on his wall, thought of the old tales of how things had been before delivered America - such an uninspired name, America! knew little about commerce; those chat rooms were boring. What he did know was that's bitterest rival had been a slimy, underhanded corporate weasel by the name of, and had once financially held America (America!) in his sweaty palm. had controlled a - what was it called? Some kind of boring online game...the one with the old guy and the free parking...Monopoly. That was it. had somehow controlled it. The nation's well-meaning but primitive and unobservant Justice Department, tried, too late, to rein in and his cronies. Luckily, that had given the chance he needed to scoop all the rest of the nation's industry to protect it from He had saved such wonderful, classic icons of yore as and

And thank for that, mused to himself as he finished brushing his teeth with his AOL toothbrush. wandered into his living room and logged on. He thanked for allowing him that privilege.

What should I do today? wondered. Hmmmm...I think it's a good day to pretend to be a lesbian. says,
This cautionary tale does not really represent my perception of reality. I feel that the Justice Department is ordinarily quite competent, and I acknowledge that Bill Gates and Microsoft have used extremely unscrupulous business tactics. However, I feel that they are not nearly the monopolistic threat to our nation that their competitor, AOL, is, especially with the recent acquisition of Time-Warner, leaving a huge swath of American culture in its grasp. At least Microsoft has provided quality products and stayed within the software medium! I hope sincerely that the Justice Department recognizes this greater corporate threat before the software industry's frying pan is replaced by a raging fire.

Written 00.03.23
HTML-ized 00.03.27
Uploaded 00.03.27
Last Updated 06.01.14