Arbitrarily-Created FAQ

Q. So who are you, anyway?
A.You had to ask, didn't you?

President of Sonic 2K. King of Watches With Those Little Blue Lights. A born leader, though seldom followed. Role-player, Thespian, and all-around great guy!

Q. What do you mean, Sonic 2K?! You haven't done a blasted thing with the group since '98!
A. What kind of nostalgianaut would I be if I didn't cling to the hope that somewhere there is a dedicated group of Sonic fans complaining about how Endgame ruined Sonic the Hedgehog and they should've stuck to the SatAM continuity who will flock to my side? ...'Sides, the title's catchy.

Q. Have you even written any Sonic fanfic in the past two years?!
A. I'm a few chapters into Ignition Factor, Phase Three: Weapons of War. ...Remember Ignition Factor?

Q. So why exactly did you decide to finally put a new homepage together?
A. Eh, the mood seized me. ...Really, I think it's Sharkey's fault. I saw him entertaining small children and getting attention from Brazilians and knew I had found my calling once more.

Q. Just how old are you, anyway?
A. Old enough not to think that "Oh my, the evil villain was actually a friend who was under the control of another evil villain, who is currently sealed away on the moon! ...Oh no! The seal has been broken!" is a clever new plot device for Final Fantasy VIII, and old enough to remember a time before thousands of newsgroups were clogged with AOL morons spouting off about masterbation.

(I just know I'm going to get an E-Mail from some extremely observant person correcting my spelling now.)

Q. You didn't answer my question.
A. That wasn't a question at all.

Q. Why do you hate AOL?
A. Why do you hate bathing in mucus?!

Q. You do realize that this FAQ section is powerfully unfunny and has caused your page already to degenerate into yet another example of an idiot thinking he is cute because he talks to imaginary people, right?
A. I figure if I were the least bit entertaining, I'd start getting death threats the next time I didn't update the page for six hours, let alone two years.

Created 00.02.28
Uploaded 00.02.28
Last Updated 06.01.14