A story about why Bucky The Lucky Badger's Sex With A Hat remained unupdated between April and June of 2001.

by Steve

THAD:.. And that's why you shouldn't start a fire in your house, little Timmy!
BRENTAI:Ha ha ha! That sure is right, Thad. Hey, Steve, stop wanking off to that sheep getting cornholed and come help little Timmy learn the awesome power - and responsibility - that comes with fire!
STEVE:God damnit, and it was just getting to the good part.
GROUPIE FAG CHICK:Stop, impetuous fools! Don't you want Timmy to grow up to be a delinquent and produce badass cultural artifacts for you to make fun of?!?
STEVE:Gasp! My arch-nemesis, Art Fag Groupie Girl!
THAD:And she has a gun!
GROUPIE FAG CHICK:Impetuous fool! This is not any ordinary gun - much like plot devices used in inspid Jerry Buckheimer films it brings back the dead!!
GROUPIE FAG CHICK: Ha ha ha! Now it is my turn to laugh, as I summon my zombie minion from beyond the grave! Destroy these fools!
JOEY RAMONE'S ROTTING CORPSE:Rarrrr.. brains.. I don't wanna be a Pinhead no more.
STEVE:NOOO!! My one weakness, hillarious yet strangely artistic and fun punk music played by goofy-looking street kids! Brent, Thad, help!
THAD:Duuuh.. must.. rip off.. Sharkey...
BRENTAI, ASSIMILATED:Fuck! I've been assimilated!
JOEY RAMONE'S ROTTING CORPSE:Braaaains.. the KKK took my braaaaains away.
GROUPIE FAG CHICK:Ha ha ha! You are powerless before the zombie of Joey Ramone!
STEVE:... Holy fuck, you mean that's not really Joey? JOEY RAMONE IS DEAD?!?? Waaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
JOEY RAMONE'S ROTTING CORPSE:I don't wanna be buried... in a peeeet cemmeeeetaaary.
GROUPIE FAG CHICK: You know, this isn't inspiring the appropriate amount of fear in you. I'm just going to go watch some Kenneth Anger movies. Come, zombie of Joey!
JOEY RAMONE'S ROTTING CORPSE:Braaaaaains. I mean, okay. I wanna be sedated.
STEVE:Noooo! Is it my fate to listen to the zombie of Joey Ramone spout off innaities that any moron could realize are nothing more than regurgitated snippets of his songs, or even worse, that I can only write such tripe? I must consider these and other important issues before I even think of inflicting such crap upon the masochistic dicks who read it willingly!

Dedicated in loving memory to everybody's favourite semi-articulate punk rocker, Joey Ramone, who died April 15.

Original Posted ca. 01.07.??
This Version Created 04.08.22
Uploaded 04.08.26
Last Updated 04.08.23