The Holy Trinity

Episode 8: Sex Toy Salesman of TERROR!

by Brentai

You small, yet immense man. Wait a minute, Brenteye. What was that you were saying earlier about not having any powers? Don't you have, like, super vision or some shit?
Hoboerotic. You'd keep your powers secret too if it meant that Harlot Bitch wouldn't catch on to the fact that you've been watching her undress from 100 miles away.
Oh, it's warm. "Harlot Bitch"? What kind of a parody name is that?
Yellowjackass I'd just like to remind everyone that I am currently known as "Yellowjackass". Thank you.
Superasshole And anyway, super sight is just a lame power. At least I'm made entirely out of space cum. Now let's stop bickering and go kick Stephen Hawking's ass.
Yellowjackass Er... about that. Don't you think it's a tad extreme transforming into our secret superhero forms just to beat on a helpless guy in a wheelchair? The man can't even really speak, for crying out loud.
I'll put my dick in the mashed potatoes. Yes. All. I. want.ed. was. to. sell. you. a. Flesh.light. That. was. my. crime.
Yellowjackass And you weren't made out of pie. Don't forget that.
Hawking Would. you. hate. a. man. sim.ply. be.cause. he. does. not. con.tain.
Superasshole That's not it, though, you guys... Hawking's voice was the last one I wanted to hear talking about dildos...
Brenteye Well, I can understand that...
Superasshole No, you don't understand at all... that voice...

--Begin Wacky Flashback--

F.  U. Spell. "Mis.spelled."
Hadouken. Em es period pee ee el tee!
Speak 'n Spell That. is. in.cor.rect.
Chibi Thad Dis toi sukz!
Speak 'n Spell That. is. in.cor.rect.
Chibi Thad Bich.
Speak 'n Spell Try. a.gain. Spell. "Bitch."
Chibi Thad Bee eye sea eich, u fuk!
Speak 'n Spell That. is. in.cor.rect. You. have. fa.iled. me. for. the. last. time. Now. I. must. teach. you. a. les.son. A. rise. my. to. e.rad.i.cate. this. scum!
Resistance is futile. We. are. get. you. We. are. get. you. We. are. get. you.
You lose 100 hits.  You are dead. No! Not in there! Not with that! AAAAAAIEEE!

--End Wacky Flashback--

Superasshole I never misspelled another word ever again.
Brenteye That actually explains an awful lot about you.
Superasshole At any rate, this man is not just a cripple in a simple wheelchair. Being a mad scientist, I have no doubt that he's managed to turn it into some kind of giant robot in disguise. Isn't that right... METAL HAWKING?!
Hawking Blast. I. am. found. out. A.gain.

My trigger finger itches.


Yellowjackass Holy sloppy seconds! It's Stephen Hawking's head badly grafted with Photoshop onto a Magitek Armor from FF6!
Superasshole And he's surrounded by mysterious shadowy figures!
Brenteye And Waldo's hiding in his nose!
Superasshole He is? Holy crap, he is! That superhuman eyesight is good for something after all!
Yellowjackass Ooh, ooh! I wanna try the next page!

I can't do it... BLARRRG!!!


Yellowjackass GYAAAAAH!!! I can't... look...
Brenteye Oh, there he is! See him?
Yellowjackass Where? I don't see... GYAAAAAH!!!
Brenteye Made'ja look.
How many of you MYSTERIOUSSHADOWYFIGUREs are there? While you were all busy looking at mullet porn, I have revealed my true true TRUE true form.
Superasshole Wait a minute, that's not Dr. Hawking in a wheelchair at all! It's Dr. Billy in a wheelchair!
Yellowjackass And he's still not made out of pie...
Brenteye Somehow, my inhibitions against beating the handicapped are starting to fade.
That fighting style...! And now a riddle: how do you keep three assholes in suspense?
Superasshole I dunno. How?
To be continued...
Original Posted ca. 01.12.05
This Version Created 04.08.23
Uploaded 04.08.26
Last Updated 05.08.03