 |
What the fuck?! It's just an empty bag! |
 |
Dunna dunna dun dun MY MORMONA! |
|
Well in that case, we have no choice but to regulate. |
 |
Outside: |
 |
Where can ya see lions? Only in Kenya. Come to Kenya, we've got lions! |
 |
SHUT THE FUCK UP! |
 |
...! |
 |
... |
|
Missions! |
 |
WHAT! |
|
Special underwear! |
|
WHAT! |
|
Kolob! |
|
HUH! |
 |
Nephites! |
|
O-KAAAAAAAAY! |
|
Those fuckers are ignoring us! |
 |
If only Rootdown, President of the Internet were here! For in addition to being President of the Internet, he is also Mormon and able to communicate with them! |
 |
That's it. This calls for drastic action. I am going to use my mighty porn collection to teach these fools a lesson. I am going to take some really cheesy '80's porn, possibly with Ron Jeremy, and play it really really loud. |
|
Brent runs back into the Fortress. Moments later, he comes running back out: |
|
My porn! My beautiful porn! |
|
What? Brent, what's wrong with your porn?! |
|
It's...gone! My entire computer... |
 |
The hell?! |
 |
Mwahahahaha! Yes, Trinity...this was all a trap! |
|
How right you are! And now you see how I used my followers to lure you out of your fortress so I could punish you! |
|
For having porn? |
|
Oh, dear me, boy. That porn was evil, and doubly so for being pirated, but no. I do not receive generous campaign contributions from the porn industry. No, I was kowtowing to my corporate overlords and eliminating your collection of pirated movies and music! |
|
Oh no! We were all pirating music! And some of us were even performing such nefarious deeds of copyright violation as watching DVD's under Linux! |
|
That's right, boy. And Orrin Hatch and his INDUCE Act will not stand for it! |
|
So you stole all our computers? |
|
Ha. No, boy. I exploded them. |
|
Oh, and that's not all. Some stupid cunt complained that Steve modified one of her images and used it on his LiveJournal, so, pursuant to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, it's been taken down! |
|
What? That was obviously parody! |
|
Yes, well, if you go through a lengthy legal battle to prove that, maybe they'll put it back up! |
|
Wait, what? I thought burden of proof was supposed to be on prosecution in this country! I mean, she doesn't have to prove jack to get my journal taken down, but I have to prove it's fair use to get it back up?! The hell kind of sense does that make? |
|
Bwaha! Such is the power of the DMCA! The technology of today is no match for the bad ideas of the past! And on that note... |
|
They're...multiplying. |
|
And there's not even a noframes tag! Or any "target=_parent" attributes on the links! |
|
Not a single page validates! |
|
(Hrk!) This is the end...done in by terrible Web design. |
|
You mean awesome web design. |
|
We're...not going to make it. |
|
Dammit, Thad! You can get us out of this! Use your catchphrase! |
|
I h...I ha...no. I just can't do it. The hate is gone from me. Even now, being crushed by terrible -- |
|
Awesome. |
|
-- terrible Web design, I just can't summon up the old hate. ...But you...you, Brent...it is to you, old friend, I shall pass the -- |
|
Oh Christ, don't say it... |
|
-- Hatrix of Leadership...as it was passed to me. |
|
Hatrix?! Oh sweet Jesus, what is it with you and Matrix puns?! |
|
Till all...are one... |
 |
(Hrk dead.) |
|
Brent! Now! |
|
No! I'm not ready! I'm not worthy! I lack the qualabilities!!!!! |
|
Brent! Look! |
