The Archive

Now Louder, Angrier, and With Access to a Time Machine!

October 2000

When outlaws ruled the West
And fear filled the land
A cry went up for a man with guts
To take the West in hand.
They needed a man who was brave and true
With justice for all as his aim
Then out of the sun rode a man with a gun
And Thad was his name
Yes Thad was his name!

He rode a blazing saddle!
He wore a shining star!
His job to offer battle
To bad men near and far!
He conquered fear and he conquered hate
He turned dark night into day
He made his blazing saddle
A torch to light the way!

What's New
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My Personal Life

What's New

Thad Turns 18. Run.




That's right, it's my eighteenth birthday. I've lost the right to sue people for having sex with me, but I've gained the ability to sign my own damn name to legal documents and to vote for Ralph Nader. And Rocky was fun as hell last night. All in all, it's been quite an enjoyable birthday.

Speaking of Rocky, a boundless congratulations to friend, colleague, and badass motherfucker Alex Ringler for making the cast of the Rocky Horror 25th Anniversary Show in Vegas in two weeks.

September Arhive is up, of course. And a new Life.



Realized two things: I forgot to mention my new intro (it's fairly obvious now, but I figure I should note the date for archival purposes), and I dropped a <BR> tag in it. Fixed both.

A Day That Shall Live Forever In Infamy


Well, nothing much today, except I beat Dragon Warrior, Brad was immortalized on Jesus of the Week, the insidious Commission on Presidential Debates finally signed its own death warrant, and I found a copy of Skip Rogers' How To Score More Points On Nintendo Games for $1 at Hastings. (I had no money on me at the time, else I would've probably thrown down the $26 for the Rocky Horror 25th Anniversary DVD set. As it was, I threw down a quarter and split the cost of Skip's with some friends of mine. ...I really need to hit an ATM soon.) Oh, and I bought a copy of Windows ME (I refuse to do that dumbass lowercase "e" thing) the other day. It actually runs pretty well.

A Thousand Words


Words are insufficient for what I want to say to an old friend in this update, so I made a picture. Congratulations, Alex; this stream's for you.

Shakey New Digs


Today, I moved my site from Crosswinds to TWU due to the former's new institution of popup ads. You've probably already seen the letter I wrote them, but for archival purposes, I've tossed it up as a Stream.

Big-Time Wacky Forced Fun Comedy Improv Ha-Ha Revue


What do you think of when you think of a couple socially-maladjusted junior high school boys writing a Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic that can't shut up about Final Fantasy VI? That's right, we're here to talk about Jaded Views, Steve's and my first collaborative work, rearing its ugly head back up from the twisted bowels of 1995.

Now what do you get when somebody who has apparently never played Final Fantasy VI goes through Jaded Views, makes witty observations about how there's too much backstory and there's not enough backstory, and uses a tired, stupid running gag involving arm theft to point out how tired and stupid the watch gag was?

That's right, boys and girls...Steve and I have been MiSTed. And, despite the derision of that last paragraph, I will admit that it's at least marginally funnier than Jaded Views itself was...although it may bear noting one more time that Jaded Views was written by a couple of twelve-year-olds. But hey, it does contain a rare instance of somebody catching me using bad parallel structure.

At any rate, Jaded Views is back, in HTML (my original, good version, not Steve's really lame one) and as Joseph Nebus' MiSTing.

I was going to try to make a dramatic composite grab of Dr. Forrester and Jade to celebrate this occasion, but I no longer have any of Jill's old drawings (except, inexplicably, one of Tracker which I had on my Dragonfire page for reasons I can't quite remember).

I've also changed the flyer on my Link Me page to reflect my new URL.

Finally, I've added Steve's banner and a link to an archive of Zappa refs on MST3K to my links page. Also changed my commentary regarding, since it's back up.

Ablate. v. To remove by erosion, melting, evaporation, or vaporization.




Well, following the MiSTing, Steve and I have been engaged in a bit of an argument. I'm pissed because he's got a much better flyer than mine, but at least I take comfort in the fact that he's not smart enough to look for hidden text on a page talking about Thor. (Sharkey's actually switched his Thor rant and his main page back now, but you can still see what I'm talking about on the Thor page even though it's just a link to itself now. Edit 03.11.16: The Thor rant is long since gone, of course.)

At any rate, I determined, after reading the MiSTing, to retrieve something that I thought was lost to me...the funniest Sonic parodyfic ever, which, I'm sorry, I think blows that MiSTing right out of the water. It has been impossible to find ever since Bookshire's page went down...but luckily, it's back. (Edit 03.11.16: It's back down.) This isn't perfect; I'd certainly like to have the original preview he sent with it, but it's damned nice.

...Most of you probably knew what I was talking about paragraphs ago, but for those of you who don''s Mobian GPF, AKA The Satire, by Simon "Ablater" Howes. Yeah, it's a little dated (OS/2? 386? What are those?), and the spelling makes me wince, but I still think it's the feelgood hit of the summer.

When you're done with that, I've got a new FP hack up. It's not much, but it's good for a laugh.



Realized I'd neglected, in the overview of my latest FP hack, to actually link the demo it was hacking. For completeness' sake, I've done so.

Day Of the New Toy

Brad owes me $400.


Through an elaborate process whereby Brad stayed up all damn night and I actually footed the bill, The Ad Pad (that's our dorm, for those of you not paying attention) is now equipped with a PlayStation 2. Your envy is obvious as you are starting to drool.

See, Brad got a ticket to hold his place in line in Target (they had the mercy of not forcing everyone to stand in line in the freezing weather) at 5:30 AM (even so, his ticket was only #18). Unfortunately, since he's going through the hassles of dealing with a bank upon turning 18, he doesn't have checks or a debit card they'll accept. That's where I came in. Throwing on some dirty clothes and my seldom-used pair of glasses (I got contacts about a year ago, for those of you not paying attention), and displaying my not-cut-for-months hair to the world in all its uncombed glory, I threw down the $320 on my debit card...making for a total of about $400 Brad owes me for things I've helped him buy in recent weeks when he's been unable to access his account. (We figure we each own half the PS2 for now; come summer, we'll resolve its ownership more permanently.)

Possibly the highlight of my morning was Rich (the guy from the next dorm over) being right ahead of us in line and paying for his with ones and fives.

I'm not really going anywhere with this...I'm tired and should go to bed. I just thought it deserved recognition.

Oh, yeah. Brad created the most fucked-up Halloween decoration ever. I'll leave it to him to post photos on his site, but suffice to say, he has proven his godhood more than once today.

Goodnight everybody.

Day Of the New Links

Brad paid me back.


Well, the big news is that I've reorganized the links page. Also, it bears noting that Alex saw the most fucked-up image ever for the first time this past weekend, and good times were had by all.

Incidentally, I would greatly appreciate it if everyone would help me by E-Mailing Fox to tell them they're a bunch of fucking idiots for deciding to air the new Simpsons Halloween Special on November 1.



Well, as this is obviously my final update of the month, the October Archive is now up. But I figure I'll wait until my next update to remove the old material.

So. End of October. Halloween. Yup. In another week, we'll have another hypocritical faux-Democrat President (or maybe the dumb, obviously completely unsuited Southern boy who Gore's inexplicably having trouble with, which is somehow Nader's fault), but to cushion the blow, the DVD release of Transformers is coming out. There's some dispute as to whether or not it's going to be the uncensored version. Either way, it's going to be fullscreen-only, so I probably won't buy it...why should I throw down for something altered to fit a resolution that's going to be obsolete within a matter of years?!

And as far as Brent's sentiments on the PS2...hell, I agree completely. I still haven't bought a single game for it. I bought it to play DVD's, load my PS games faster, and so I could give my brother my old PS.

But what you do have to respect about the PS2 is that it's the first video game console ever to not look like a video game console. That mofo looks like a serious piece of electronic hardware...with the possible exception of the stylized blue PS2 written across the top.

But they're certainly getting people to buy stupid crap. I mean, the vertical stand is silly enough...but they're selling a horizontal stand.

Sure seems like I was going to say more...but I can't remember what. Well, at least the more I forget, the more frequently I update.

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Stream of Consciousness


Cult Media God Pays Homoerotic Compliment to High School Buddy; Thad Creates Most Fucked-Up Image Ever


Well, despite the best efforts of, today, after spending a total of $328, I finally received my A+ certification. I wanted to scan the printout, but I taped it up to my wall and don't feel like taking it down, so instead here's a picture of another amusing Denny's bill.

While the highlights of my weekend were a Weird Al concert, Best In Show (in case you haven't heard of Best In Show, it's Waiting for Guffman with dogs. If you haven't heard of Waiting for Guffman, it's This Is Spinal Tap with a theatre group. If you haven't heard of This Is Spinal Tap, you just suck. In any case, all three of these movies kick more ass than I can possibly explain to you, so just check them all out. I now return you to your regularly-scheduled sentence.), others made it to the Rocky Horror 25th Anniversary show. There, the legendary Richard O'Brien told my good high school friend (who played Rocky for part of the con) that he had nice tits. I think it may have looked a little something like this.

Stop trying to make sense of it.

I missed Beast Machines for the third consecutive week (this time the VCR inexplicably didn't work). This MySpace shit is getting really old.

PS2's out in just over a week. Cool. Brad and I'll be able to watch DVD's without worrying about how many people we can cluster around his 17" monitor.

Our DVD collection so far, incidentally, is composed of Mallrats, Holy Grail, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap, and Rocky Horror. Oh yeah. ...I've been looking for The Jerk forever, but so far I've only found it in a $55 three-pack, and besides, I hear the current DVD release is less than inspiring.

I sure hope FF9 is as good as it looks.

My head hurts.

Still working diligently on Tempe High: The Zelda Quest. No new updates, but trust me, it's looking good. Level 4...well, Level 4 is a bitch. I'm quite proud of it. If I can't get through it in under three lives, I must be doing a good job in capturing that classic Zelda challenge.

I'm working on a manual/FAQ thing for it, too. Not a walkthrough, mind you, just a basic overview.

At any rate, that's all I've got for now. Frankly, it's considerably more than I thought I had. Thank you and goodnight.



I Left Out the Part About Sodomizing Themselves With Chollas Because I Found Out Their Uncle Just Died. And Because Canadians Probably Don't Know What Chollas Are.


Subject: Popups

Dear Messrs. Holmes,

I have been a Crosswinds user for nearly a year, and unfortunately now I have sought out another provider. Why? Simple. Because I came to Crosswinds for one reason -- no ads. Your revocation of your promise never to force users to use ads is an intolerable violation of my trust. Worse yet, you didn't simply use banners, you chose popup ads, the most insidious, disgusting, downright evil things on the Net, a force whose permeation of the Web I have watched with growing dread for years. At one time, popup ads were only seen on porn sites, which is to be expected -- they're run by soulless entities who exist only to make a quick buck. However, that is no longer true; they have now successfully corrupted even such a benevolent service as Crosswinds.

You have asserted that without these ads, you could not keep Crosswinds stable, and that you feel that the ads are better than instability. I submit that you are wrong, that I would much rather have my page often inaccessible than always a corporate shill.

You have asserted likewise that you hope this will be a temporary necessity. That is not enough. I'm not going to wait around. You're not the only free host on the's just that, up until recently, you were one of the few that didn't force its users to implement ads.

I will never run a Webpage with popup ads, and I will only ever run one with banner ads if I go broke and run out of options.

Thank you for your time, and for the past nine months of Web hosting.

Thaddeus R. R. Boyd

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My Personal Life



Games: Still messing around a bit with Cross (got the crappy ending; I'm back to Fort Dragonia on a New Game+...I do believe I've lapped Brent. Kick my ass indeed. ;) ), but the big draw lately has been Dragon Warrior I&II for Game Boy. If you liked the original, you should go right out and get a copy (ummm...provided you've already got a Game Boy, and preferably a Color); if you didn't like the original, there's something wrong with you; and if you never played the original, you shouldn't be allowed to influence the video game industry by purchasing anything. All in all, it's a vital addition to any boring CSE class.



Games: Beat the I half of Dragon Warrior I&II. Playing II now.

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Created 00.10.01
Uploaded 00.10.31
Last Updated 04.04.05